i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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