Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
