SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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