New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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