apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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