But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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