so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
