You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
