It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You took a bar mat shot.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
