What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
