Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
