SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
