i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
