Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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