This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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