How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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