i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
