We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
