That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
my god I love twenty year old dicks
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
