He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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