I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
