I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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