belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
