dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
