physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
