I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
