guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
