so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I could make wine with my vomit
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
