Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
