I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
