This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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