I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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