out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
