Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
