The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
