We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You brought string cheese to the strip club
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
