Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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