if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
