sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
