She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we're making bets on your personal life
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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