I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
