Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
