I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
