fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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