so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
