I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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