But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
