Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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