Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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