Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
