Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
