who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think my moral compass just broke
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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