I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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