Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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