What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
